


When the World Crashes Down

by princessmelia



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-28
Updated: 2014-06-06
Packaged: 2018-01-26 21:55:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1703933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princessmelia/pseuds/princessmelia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post-Finale. Jemma Simmons is struggling to cope with the state of her best friend, Leo Fitz. The team is there to help, each in their own way. Features all team members, shopping trips, late night teas, and long conversations.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Coulson

Coulson’s room was in the middle of the secret base, meaning he was nearest to the lab. He’d taken the most centrally located room for “tactical reasons”. Everyone knew he just wanted to be closer to the rest of his team. Though he tried not to show it, Coulson was shaken up at everything that had transpired, especially to Fitzsimmons. Stupid. He’d been absolutely stupid to let them go search for the BUS alone. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but that’s when they thought all of Hydra would be at their base. They would have needed all of the fighters there to allow Skye to sync up to a computer. He hadn’t thought that they would move. And now Fitz was lying in a coma, all because of his stupid decision.

Three days after they’d arrived at the base, Coulson was lying awake in his bed, the bright green numbers on his clock informing him it was 2:14. It’d been nearly an hour since he’d awoken for no reason, and he was wrestling with the thoughts that kept him awake. They were mostly about Fitz. In an effort to get some sleep, he tried to convince himself he wasn’t to blame for Fitz’s state, it was Ward. If he wanted to be mad at someone, it should be Ward. Ward was the one that dropped them in the ocean. Ward should’ve been the one to make sure they were safe. Ward was at fault.

It didn’t make him feel any better.

At 2:17, there was a crash on the other side of his wall. Coulson was out of bed at once, gun in his right hand as he made his way out into the hall. His bare feet were silent as they padded down the hallway, and he was thankful that his cloth sweatpants didn’t swish as he walked. As he approached, he was surprised to find that the lab lights were on and the doors were open.

Peering inside, the lab seemed to be empty. No one walked between the lab tables and no experiments were bubbling over or sitting around. He was ready to turn off the lights and walk away when a brown ponytail popped up from behind a counter, messy and unkempt. 

“Simmons?”

She turned around with a start, and Coulson watched as she nearly dropped the dustpan filled with glass she was holding. Her shoulders were tense and her eyes wide until she realized who had called out her name. Seeing Coulson, her shoulders relaxed and she let out a relieved sigh. “Sir, you startled me.”

“What are you doing here?” Fitz and Simmons had been known to work in the lab until late into the night, but that was normally during a mission. The whole team was off the clock while Coulson worked on rebuilding S.H.I.E.L.D.

Simmons averted her eyes and moved to dump the glass into the proper disposal. “You mean in the lab? I am a scientist, sir.” The joking tone and the weak smile she gave him didn’t fool Coulson for a moment.

“I meant”--he glanced down at his watch--“at 2:19 in the morning.”

“Oh, that.” Simmons began to wander aimlessly around the lab, faking being busy to avoid Coulson’s eyes. “I was just… running some tests and things. Time sensitive, you know.”

“And where are these tests?” It seemed to Coulson that her improvisation skills had still not improved.

The counters were clear with the exception of some medical journals and empty equipment. Simmons’ eyes swept over the entire lab before she answered, “The fridge, of course. Temperature sensitive as well.” Picking up a random beaker, Simmons moved to a sink and began to clean the already spotless glass.

She was wearing the same clothes as the day before. Odd. And as he dwelled on it, he realized a lot of Simmons’ behavior had been odd lately. She was normally the first one asleep, but lately she was the last to bed and the first to rise. “Simmons, when was the last time you slept?”

Her back turned to him, he could only see her slight pause in scrubbing before washing the beaker out again. “I was sleeping a couple of hours ago, sir,” she replied in a shaky voice.

“You’re wearing the same clothes.”

Her scrubbing became harder. “Yes, well, I took a nap this afternoon.”

Coulson’s eyebrows pulled together. “Skye said you two went exploring the base. Simmons, if you aren’t sleeping, you need to tell me. It’s important that you get some rest.”

“I can’t!” Her words were accompanied by the shattering of glass in the sink. She slammed the water off before turning to Coulson. She was fighting back tears. “Everytime I close my eyes, I feel the water pounding into me. And I see Fitz standing in front of me, and he’s smiling. Dammit, he’s always smiling! Why couldn’t he be upset about dying? He shouldn’t have been happy to sacrifice himself for me. I didn’t ask for that guilt. I tried to save him, but even that didn’t work. You know what they say about people with oxygen deprivation? If they are in a coma for more than twelve hours, then they likely will never regain proper brain function--"

"--Simmons--"

"--and he's been in one for days. What if he never wakes up? Or he wakes up but remains in a permanent state of vegetation for the rest of his life. I couldn’t live with myself."

"Simmons."

"I have to find a way to make this better. He's this way because of me. And if the roles were reversed, he wouldn't rest until I was better. So I can't rest. I can't rest until he's better. And I’m scared because I don’t think I can fix it all by myself. We’re supposed to fix things together, but now it’s just me. And I can’t let him end like this. Because how can I go on without him? How can I--"

"Jemma." His voice was soft but firm as he placed his hands on her shoulder. The tears were running freely down her face and Coulson watched them with sadness. She was just a kid, as May had pointed out so long ago. A kid who had grown up too fast, just like every other S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent before her.

He didn’t have to wait long until she was clinging to him tightly in a hug, sobbing into his shoulder. "How? How, sir?" The question repeated over and over as Coulson held her tightly in his grip. He wasn't sure what she was asking about anymore. Maybe she didn't either. How could Fitz sacrifice himself? How could he leave her? How could she save him? How could she carry on if he doesn't?

Coulson didn't know the answers any better than her, so he just held her instead. His hand rubbed a soothing circle on her back.

"It's okay," he told her. It was a lie and nothing more, but it was all Coulson could offer her. "It's okay."

"No. No, it's not okay, Fitz."

Coulson didn't respond to the words. Simmons took a shaky gasp as she realized her mistake, and she pulled away from him. But, he noted, she didn’t venture out of arm’s length. Her face was a mix of embarrassment, confusion, and sorrow.

"I'm sorry, sir. I--I was..."

"You're tired, Simmons." Coulson offered her the buy out with a small smile. She accepted it with a nod. "Come on, let’s get you some sleep. You'll feel better in the morning."

"Yes, sir." They walked out of the lab side by side, and Coulson was pleased to see the tears had slowed. As they passed the kitchen, Simmons asked, "Would you help me make some tea? It always helps me sleep." 

"Of course."

They went inside, and Simmons immediately moved to fill the kettle with water. Coulson picked out chamomile tea from the cupboard and handed it to her. The silence between them as they sipped their drinks was comfortable and left both of them feeling more at peace than they had in days.

Coulson knew that he couldn’t do anything for Fitz. He could regret and fume, but none of it would change his stupid decision. He could, however, make sure Simmons had some tea and got some rest. 

That did make him feel better.


	2. Skye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is Skye's section, and it is by far the longest one. Partially inspired by shortylego.

Skye decided something needed to be done in regards to her best friend. So while Simmons slept, (and thank God she was doing that for once) Skye made plans.

"AC, I have a proposition." She found him in the kitchen, eating a bowl of cereal. Spinning a chair around, she sat down beside him, leaning over the back of the chair. “I want to take a day trip with Simmons.”

“I agree.”

“Now, I know you won’t-- wait, what?”

Coulson swallowed his cereal before answering. “I think it would be good for her to get out of the bunker. She’s been cooped up here for far too long.”

Skye was amazed at how relaxed he was being about the whole thing. “So you’ll let us go? Just like that?”

He gave her a sideways look and a smile. “Well, just like that and with May tagging along.”

Skye’s face fell. It wasn’t that she didn’t like May, it’s just that what she had in mind wasn’t really May’s style. “But we’re going to the mall. May won’t want to shop with us.”

“She doesn’t have to. May can watch the perimeter, no direct supervision needed.”

Her sigh was probably a bit overdramatic, but she didn’t want Coulson to know she agreed with him. “Fine, I guess that will work.” She pushed out of her chair to leave, but Coulson held up his hand.

“Don’t wake her up. You two can leave after she’s gotten a proper amount of sleep.”

He didn’t look at her, but Skye knew he had care in his eyes. She smiled. “Sure thing, AC.”

A few hours later she was dressed and waiting by the door for Simmons. May was already waiting in the car to drive them. 

“Simmons, hurry up!”

“I’m just not sure this is a good idea.” The scientist skidded around the corner, pulling her arms through her jacket. “I don’t want to miss anything.”

“If something happens, Coulson and Trip promised they’d call.” She gave her friend the best sly smile she had. “Besides, this isn’t like a normal shopping trip. I’ve got something very special in mind.”

The entire ride there, Simmons continued to guess what they could be doing. “A makeover?” Skye shook her head again and laughed at Simmons’ frustration. May parked the car and turned to the back seat.

“We meet in the food court in exactly two hours. If you see something suspicious, you call me right away, understood?” The two girls nodded. “Good.” May gave a small smile. “Have fun.”

As they walked into the mall, Skye asked, “So is this what it feels like to be a typical teenage girl? Getting dropped off by your mom at the mall?”

Simmons shrugged while looking up at the building in front of them. “I don’t know. I was always too busy studying or doing homework to go to the mall. Plus, by my teenage years I was already pursuing my first degree at university.”

Skye blinked. “Right, super genius. Almost forgot.”

“Not a super genius, per say. Though Fitz would argue that he is…” Her voice grew quiet, and she stared down at her hands. When she opened her mouth to speak, Skye quickly cut her off. This was a mission that involved a lot of tact. A mix of fun, distraction, and remembrance

“Come on.” She grabbed Simmons’ hand. “Before the surprise, we have some actual shopping to do.”

Fun was first on the list. Skye made Simmons try on a ridiculous pair of high heels (at least six inches). The poor girl didn’t have a clue how to walk in them.

“These hardly seem practical,” she stated as she teetered. 

“They aren’t meant to be practical. They’re meant to be eye-catching.”

“Well I’ll most certainly be eye-catching twisting my ankle and falling to the floor,” Simmons countered in a huff as she attempted a shaky step forward. Skye called it off after a few steps, considering Simmons’ ankle twisting prophecy nearly came true and forced Skye to catch her friend. 

“Your turn,” Simmons informed her as she slipped the shoes off, a mischievous smile on her face.

Skye smiled in return. “Why, Jemma, is that a challenge?”

“Yes.” Standing up from the floor, Simmons scanned the shelves for the perfect pair of shoes. “These.”

Sky didn’t even try to hold back her laugh as she looked down at the shoes Simmons had selected. “Bright red kiki boots?”

“Go on.”

They were awful. The ends pinched her toes and the boot itself made her entire leg sweat after just a few seconds. Walking around, it felt like she would snap the heel and lose her balance for sure. But it was all worth it to hear Simmons laugh again.

Having accomplished distraction and fun, Skye decided they were ready for the next phase of the mission. After Simmons finished buying a pair of desperately needed flats, they walked out of the shoe store, turning left.

“Where to next? Accessories?” Simmons asked.

“Actually, it’s time for the surprise.” Skye smiled while glancing at Simmons, but she was nervous. Her surprise could either go very, very well or very, very not well. “Here,” she declared as she pulled Simmons to a stop beside her.

The store was colorful and bright. A few children ran around, along with a couple of adults, but for the most part the store was empty.

“Build-a-Bear Workshop?” Simmons questioned.

“Where best friends are made.” Skye looked over at Simmons, but the scientist was still looking at the store in confusion. “I just figured you could make something for Fitz. You know, I was doing some research, and they have a monkey you can make.”

“A monkey?” Simmons turned to her with a smile. “Fitz would love that.” It was the first time that someone had mentioned Fitz and Simmons hadn’t shut down or broken into tears. It made Skye feel hopeful.

“He would.”

Simmons nodded and pushed up her sleeves. “Let’s do it.”

The worker who helped them was named Christy. Skye liked Christy for one very important reason: she didn’t ask too many questions. She did not question why two full grown women were making a stuffed animal on a Tuesday morning with no kids in sight, or why one of those women looked like she might cry at any moment.

They were stuffing the monkey when Christy pulled out a little red heart. “The heart is a very important part to your new friend. Your job is to take the heart and make a wish on it, so that your friend can have lots of dreams and wishes himself.”

Skye didn't ask what Simmons wished for on that heart, but by her determined expression, it wasn't hard to guess. 

"And I have the perfect name for him," Simmons declared as she sat down at the computer.

"Einstein?" Skye guessed. 

"No," Simmons said as she turned to face Skye, speaking in that tone she used whenever she was trying to impress people. "Einstein is such an overused name." 

Skye cocked an eyebrow at her. Simmons held her gaze for a few brief moments before turning back to the screen. “Plus I already have stuffed animal name Einstein.”

“And there it is.” Simmons shrugged as her fingers began to fly over the keyboard. “So what are you naming him?” The list of scientists Skye knew was slim, but she did manage to come up with another clever name to amuse Simmons. “How about Darwin?”

As Simmons laughed, she shook her head. “Tesla. He was an engineer, and he was clever. Very clever. He was always Fitz’s favorite scientist. Did you know that he actually improved upon Edison’s electrical circuit? And he--”

“I’m going to go look at clothes,” Skye said quickly. She loved Simmons, but damn, the girl could babble about science far beyond what Skye could understand. While Simmons finished making Tesla's birth certificate, she browsed through the clothing. 

The Captain America and Iron Man costumes were tempting choices to buy, especially when she thought of how excited Coulson would be at seeing the old red, white, and blue. Maybe some other time she would bring him. It was when she saw the Thor costume that she paused. The memory of Fitz's excitement at the thought of meeting the Asgardian came back to her at full force. It’d been so long since she’d seen him happy, and she cringed at how much she’d been avoiding thinking of him lately. Skye had never been good with illness or injuries or anything of that sort. Kids at the orphanage were always isolated to avoid a pandemic, and she'd grown accustomed to not seeing them. But she couldn't avoid Fitz.

Two. That was the number of times she'd dropped by his room since they'd arrived at the base. And both times she'd left quickly. It was difficult for her to process that the body lying there was Fitz, her over-excitable friend. So she didn't try to process it. Instead, she focused on Simmons. 

Simmons who, for the first time in days, was smiling (albeit watery) and talking about Fitz without crying. It was good. 

Skye continued to browse through the clothes, looking for something suitable for a monkey named Tesla. Simmons joined her, and together they found a little sweater and jeans for him to wear.

"Thank you for this, Skye," Simmons said as they walked out of the store. It was almost time to meet May at the food court. "I'm sure Fitz will love him."

"Of course he will." Skye rubbed her hands together nervously. "Listen, about me not being there..."

"It's perfectly understandable, Skye. It's natural to be uncomfortable in situations like this." Her smile was genuine, and Skye couldn't help but marvel at it.

"You're incredible, for doing all you've done. I don't know how--"

"Yes, well, someone's got to do it, haven't they?" Her smile turned into a tight grin, and Skye placed a hand on Simmons' shoulder.

"But not alone. I may not know a whole lot about these things, but I'm here if you need to vent or shop or watch funny cat videos online."

The hug was unexpected, but it was nice.

"Thank you. I'm glad you came aboard, Skye."

"Me too."


	3. Triplett

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next few installments will be shorter. This is Triplett's chapter.

Trip sighed as he sat down in his regular chair, the living room quiet in the early hours of the morning. The only other person awake at that time was May, and she was always doing Tai Chi in the gym. Trip, meanwhile, had his own morning ritual.

Prying open the book in his lap, Trip settled back into his chair. The words were familiar, and his mind soon wandered.

The image of Fitz came up frequently, the usually energetic engineer still in his hospital bed. He remembered his failed attempts to bond with Fitz when they'd first met. Trip had thought Fitz would only be friends if he could be impressed by someone’s intelligence-- turned out he just needed someone to laugh with. It'd taken time, but Trip could tell they would be good friends. Could have been good friends.

“What are you reading?”

Trip turned to see Simmons standing in the doorway of the lounge. She had just woken up, he could tell. Her hair was still unbrushed and there was no make-up on her face. She walked through the door and sat down on the couch beside his chair, curling her legs up under her.

He held up the book for her to inspect the cover and smirked when her eyes went a little wider in surprise.

“The Bible?” He nodded. “Do you read it often?” Her surprised expression was being schooled into a mask of interest.

“Every morning. I find a quiet place, I read, and I pray.”

Simmons nodded. "So you believe in God, then?"

"I do. I'm guessing you don't?"

"Not really." She shook her head. "Science and religion don't match up in my book."

Trip shrugged. "To me, the more I learn about science, the more I believe. It just makes sense that someone came up with all of this."

"Even with aliens?"

He laughed. "Even with aliens."

"So, what are you reading?" Trip could see she was making an effort and it made him smile.

"Isaiah 40:29-31."

"And what does it say?" 

Trip looked at her before reading it aloud. "He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

Simmons nodded and settled back into the couch. "You were thinking of Fitz."

"Of course. I've been reading about strength and hope since we got here. I pray for him every morning." 

"That's really sweet." She wasn't meeting his eyes anymore. Though he didn't say it, a large part of his prayers were about Simmons as well. She was tough, but he knew she must be hurting. He had hoped God would bring her comfort, and, from her expression after the shopping trip, it seemed that He had.

"Would you like to pray with me?" Her eyes darted to him before she looked quickly away and rubbed her hands together.

"I don't think that would be a good idea. I don't know how, and I don't believe..."

"That's okay." He gave her a warm smile when she looked at him. "You don't have to know anything, don't even have to believe. All you gotta do is hold my hands"-- he held them out for her to grab--"and let me do the talking. If you don't want to, no big deal. I'll still pray for you and Fitz anyway."

Her eyes hadn't left his hands since he'd placed them before her. Slowly, she leaned forward and placed her hands in his. "Can't hurt to try, right?"

"Absolutely." Trip closed his eyes and bowed his head. "Dear God, we come to you today with hearts and mind weighed down by sorrow. We pray for our friend Fitz, that he will wake up soon, as whole and healthy as he can be. Give us the strength to carry on through these dark times and make the world a better place. I also want to pray for Simmons. She has had great strength in this tragedy, and I pray she can continue to find it. And when she feels she has no more, I pray she knows she can turn to her friends for support. Thank you God for the lives of all of us in this bunker and for our families beyond."

"Especially for Fitz's mum." The add in made Trip smile.

"Especially for Fitz's mum," he agreed. "Let the new S.H.I.E.L.D bring peace to this earth and to worlds beyond. In Jesus' name, Amen."

He opened his eyes and gave Simmons' hands a squeeze before letting them go.

"Thank you, Trip.” Simmons tucked some of her hair behind her ear. “It was lovely."

"Anytime. Thank you for joining me. And see? No fire raining from the sky. No smiting. No plagues taking over the bunker."

She laughed, and Trip thought she looked more at peace. At least, he hoped so. He soon went back to reading, and Simmons grabbed a random book from the end table and joined him. When Skye wandered in yawning, Simmons left with her to finish getting ready, but not before nodding to Trip.

He watched the two girls leave before shutting his Bible. If Skye was up, then it was most definitely time for him to start getting ready as well. He sent up one more quick prayer for the whole team before leaving the lounge.

He hoped he had helped.


	4. May

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Second to last chapter. Happy to hear so many are enjoying it! This one belongs to May.

That night Coulson decided to reinstate an old standard: game night. Skye picked out monopoly, and May grudgingly agreed to play. It wasn't normally her style, but Coulson pointed out it would be good to have some normality. She agreed. It wasn't easy to watch the world crumble down around you, and even harder to watch it happen to those you care about.

"Isn't there a motel option?" Skye grumbled as she landed on one of May's hotels yet again. "I'd never stay in hotels this expensive."

Coulson shook his head. "You picked the game."

"That was before I knew May was some monopoly tyrant!"

A small grin tugged at May's lips as she took Skye's money. "Never underestimate your opponents."

No one quite remembered how (May suspected Trip or Skye made a wisecrack) but they were soon all laughing. Coulson laughed so hard he fell out of his chair, and Trip and Skye ended up leaning on each other for support. Simmons was smiling, and it was the largest one May had seen in days.

May's heart sank as Simmons' smile fell and the tears of joy in her eyes fell in sorrow.

"Excuse me." The biochemist scrambled upward and all but ran out of the lounge and down the hallway. Everyone moved to follow her, but May got up first.

"Let me talk to her, Phil." Coulson's eyes assessed her before nodding his consent. May nodded in return before going down the hallway.

Living in the past was something May tried to avoid, but that didn’t mean she could resist it all the time. She'd been the one to choose Fitzsimmons for this assignment, and she had considered their safety her responsibility. She had promised Fury as much when he'd learned they hadn’t passed their field assessments. And now Fitz was in a coma.

The two scientists had wormed their way into her heart somehow, and May was worried about the state of Simmons. Fitz would pull through or he wouldn't (and if he didn’t, Ward would certainly be getting a visit from her) and there wasn't much she could about it. Simmons, however, was at a critical point. The way she reacted to this tragedy would shape her for the rest of her life.

May wanted to give her a push in the right direction.

The sobs could be heard through the door of Simmons' room. Tears weren't something May was used to dealing with, but she pushed the door open anyway. Simmons was sitting on her bed, her head in her hands as she rocked back and forth with sobs. 

"Simmons?" The girl looked up at her in surprise and tried to stop her sobs.

“Oh, May.” The tears were being wiped away quickly. “What can I do for you?”

“You feel guilty.” May uncrossed her arms and stepped inside the room, closing the door behind her. “You wonder how you can smile and laugh while Fitz is lying in a coma.”

Simmons held her gaze for a few moments before looking at the ground. “How did you know?”

“I’ve felt the same.” May sat down on the bed beside her.

Simmons nodded as she twisted her hands in her lap. “It doesn’t get easier, does it?”

“No," May answered honestly. "But you are allowed to still enjoy your life.”

“Am I?" The question was quiet. "Because that feels an awful lot like betrayal.”

“Fitz gave what he thought was his life for you. What would he want? Would he want you to feel guilty for every laugh and smile you have for the rest of your life? Or would he want you to be happy?”

Simmons sighed and rubbed her arms. “He’d want me to be happy.”

May nodded. “Then you live your life like it. I’ve seen the alternative, seen what happens to people who lose their partners in the field like you almost did. I don’t want to see you go down the same path.” She paused. “No one out there will think you’re dishonoring Fitz by having a little fun. We’ve all been worried about you, and, in all honesty, it’s nice to see you smiling again.”

Simmons let out a small laugh before her face fell again. "I just want Fitz to get better."

"We all do." May placed a hand on Simmons' shoulder. "Take some time. We'll be waiting for you to finish the game."

May stood and made it to the door before Simmons called out, "Thank you, May." The senior agent turned and smiled at her, nodding once before leaving.

May sat down with the rest of the team. No one asked where Simmons was, and they continued on with meaningless conversation, Skye glancing down the hallway on occasion. May could see that the younger girl was about ready to give up and go check on her friend when Simmons reentered the room. They all fell silent as she sat down at the table, watching to see what she would do.

"Well," Simmons said when no one else spoke, "let's finish this up. I want to see May kick Skye's ass."

There was a beat before Skye began to laugh. Coulson joined soon after, followed by Trip and May. Simmons hardly cursed, and especially not in such a casual situation.

Soon Simmons began to laugh as well, and it made May smile. They made eye contact, and Simmons nodded gratefully. It seemed she was going down the right path.


	5. Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last section, and it encompasses the whole BUS family. I hope you all enjoyed this series!

They were all eating lunch when Coulson got the phone call.

“Alright,” Skye said as she slammed the fridge close, “who ate my leftovers?” Trip let out a laugh and she quickly turned to him. “Ah, so new guy thinks he can waltz in here and eat other people’s food, is that it?”

Trip shook his head. “It wasn’t me.”

“Then who was it?” she demanded.

Simmons smiled sheepishly as she raised her hand. “It was me.”

“Simmons!”

“It was late, and I was hungry. I saw the “S” on the box and I thought they were mine.” She gave a little shrug. “I’m sorry.” As Skye turned back to the fridge with an eye roll, Simmons leaned over to Trip. “I’m not all that sorry. They were delicious.” She joined in Trip’s laughter before they both had to cover the sound from Skye, who had turned to look at them suspiciously. She looked like she was ready to do more than accuse them, and Simmons braced herself for Skye’s reprimand, but it never came. Instead, Coulson walked into the room, phone held loosely in his right hand.

“Coulson?” He turned to Skye as if he hadn’t realized she was there-- as if any of them were there.

“It’s Fitz.” Simmons felt her stomach drop and her heart pound in her chest. They’d lost him. They must have lost him. “He’s awake.” The sigh of relief made her double over in her chair. 

“Can we see him?” That was Skye, though Simmons didn’t have the strength to look up yet. Fitz was awake, but what did that mean? Was he alert and cognitive? Did he suffer from amnesia or paralysis? Or was he altogether catatonic?

“... head over there now,” Coulson was explaining.

“What’s his condition?” She raised her head as she asked the question. Her eyes met Coulson’s, and she could read the sorrow in his eyes.

“They aren’t sure yet, and they’re still running tests. But I told them to call me with any change at all.”

Simmons found herself nodding. “Then let’s go.” 

The way there was a blur, and she was only really aware of Skye’s constant presence beside her. Simmons was lost in her thoughts, which circled around her best friend lying on a hospital bed. She’d been hoping (even praying) for the moment he would wake for so long. 

The scenarios had run through her mind. If he didn’t remember, she would have to meet him again. Doable, though certainly not what she wanted to do. If he couldn’t move, they would build a device (together) that could serve out all of his functions. That would be the easiest consequence to deal with. Inability to talk or perform math, that would be harder. She would take him through any kind of therapy or reteaching he would need. It’d be difficult, not impossible. It was the thought of him being catatonic that she couldn’t stand. Fitz, locked inside of his own mind-- unable to move or communicate or do anything. It would be like when Skye had been shot, and she’d question what the right thing to do was. Would it be better to let him go if he was pain? She hoped she wouldn’t have to find out. Ever.

They were standing outside the door to his room, and Simmons’ breaths were getting harder to take. She felt Skye’s hand slip into her own and give her a squeeze. It was comforting.

Coulson approached first, speaking with the doctor who had come to meet them. “We’re here to see Fitz.”

“I’m sorry”--the woman shook her head with a sad smile--”we can only allow one person in to see him right now. In his state, we’re worried more faces will overwhelm him.” Simmons blinked back the tears that formed at her words. The doctor looked out over the team. “I’ll be waiting for you inside, Director Coulson.”

“Hold on.” Coulson walked over until he was standing in front of Simmons. 

“Sir?”

“It should be you. You should be the first face he sees.” She couldn’t hold back the tears when he said it. She was immensely grateful to the man who understood what she needed before she even voiced it.

“Thank you, sir.” He nodded and gave her shoulder a squeeze before moving aside to let her through. Simmons took a deep breath and gave Skye’s hand another squeeze before stepping towards the room. The doctor nodded at her and moved inside. Before Simmons followed, she looked back at her team.

It was terrifying, what waited inside the room. Her world would never be the same again whatever state she found Fitz in. But remembering the past few days helped because she knew. She knew that the support and family she needed was just beyond the door, always within arms reach. A friend, a brother, a sister, a mum, a dad, all she needed right there for her. She couldn't have made it without them.

So she nodded and smiled at them once more before walking through the door and facing the biggest change of her life.


End file.
